Cham…how?? (Or: ‘Undermining the purpose of bike shorts’)

 

 

Left: how bike shorts look on the outside. Right: how they look on the inside.

 

(Note: this blog post talks about some pretty intimate stuff. Maybe it’s TMI, but I’m guessing a lot of cyclists have had to deal with cycling shorts and how to wear them. -DAVE)

I’ve been able to ride a bike most of my life, but it wasn’t until 2000 that I became a “cyclist.”

That was the year I first bought cycling shorts. You know, the leg-hugging spandex with that weird pad sewn in the middle to protect your delicate parts while you’re on the bike?

I remember looking at those things when I was younger and visited bike shops. They looked like the other spandex shorts that I’ve had as a runner (and I recall those shorts became popular in the early ’90s) but the ones made for bikes had the big pad (called a chamois) in it, deforming the shape of the shorts, in my opinion.

But jump back ahead a decade and as I got into bike commuting, and thus, cycling, it was time for me to decide whether I really wanted to be a “cyclist,” i.e. get a pair of those shorts.

It wasn’t an easy decision. At the time, I didn’t want to be one of those kinds of people who wore loud, skin-tight clothing, a bike helmet and gloves, and even those weird stiff-soled shoes with cleats that made crunching noises when they walked on concrete. They just looked too hard-core about riding a bike, and I didn’t want to be like that, at least not yet.

Wear nothing underneath? Really?

But I did need some padding for my aching nether-region after several longer-than usual bike rides. I wanted to be able to ride longer distances, and thought I’d just build up some endurance or toughness for that part of my body, but the sales clerk said cycling shorts would go a long way in making long rides more comfortable, as long as you wore them correctly. And wearing them correctly means wearing nothing underneath them.

So I tried a pair on — while still wearing briefs underneath, of course, per common bike store policy when you try these  things on — and yeah, it felt like a big hunk of padding was stuck between my legs. Definitely a new sensation.

But that padding would come in handy once all my weight would be on that part of my body on the bike seat, so I figured it’s worth a shot. So I bought the shorts but planned to surround them with other clothes when I wore them, so as not to appear all serious about cycling. My new bike shorts would still be covered by regular shorts while I wore a T-shirt on top, and, underneath, I still wore briefs.

I don’t know, it just seemed like a good idea to still have something underneath those cycling shorts. I always wore briefs underneath running tights, and, well, it just felt safer and more sanitary. At this point I only had one pair of cycling shorts, and didn’t want to be washing them every day since I was riding to work on a daily basis. And it just seems kind of nasty to wear those things with nothing underneath, go work up a good sweat, peel them off, and then have to put those things on again the next day for another ride if you haven’t washed them.

So my cycling life went on with that mindset and practice regarding the cycling shorts, but in a relatively short time I made the jump to wearing skin-tight bicycling shirts and wearing nothing over the bike shorts. (All that loose clothing flapping in the wind really does slow you down!) I also bought the cycling shoes and clipless pedals, and I now came across as a more serious cyclist and was riding longer distances now, but underneath was still that guy who was afraid to take the full plunge and go commando with the bike shorts.

Even last year, with several long training rides culminating in a couple days of riding on RAGBRAI, I wore briefs under my bike shorts. And I had gotten used to riding with briefs underneath the bike shorts. I figured the pain and discomfort were normal; plenty of cycling books and magazines discuss dealing with “saddle soreness,” so I figured every rider deals with it regardless of how they wear their shorts.

And I was handling rides of up to an hour and a half with little problem, so I thought I was fine. But on those long rides, I was suffering at the end. Besides being exhausted from the effort itself, my crotch ached and my feet went numb, and the last few miles were a horrendous ordeal.

I still chalked it up as normal, though. And over the years, I have bought new cycling shorts as the older ones wore out, each time getting one that was a little pricier because it had a little bit better padding. I recently bought another pair, the Pearl Izumi Attack shorts. This is my second pair of these, and these are the highest-quality bike shorts I’ve ever bought.

Time for an experiment

Well, with RAGBRAI about a month away and fears of more extreme pain and discomfort looming in my head, I figured it’s time to see exactly how big a difference going au natural underneath bike shorts will make.

My plan was to ride the same route on three different days under three different scenarios. Ride No. 1: old cycling shorts, nothing underneath. Ride No. 2: new cycling shorts, briefs underneath. Ride No. 3: new cycling shorts, nothing underneath.

The route was a 15-mile out-and-back I recently devised on the roads outside Monticello, where I live. It follows much of the length of what had been my “usual” loop but just reverses direction rather than goes through town. As a result, I spend more time pedaling on long rural roads and less time dealing with turns and traffic in town.

Here’s the route:

Ride No. 1: Old cycling shorts, nothing underneath 

My first impresson after putting the shorts on was, “Wow, the chamois material is smooth!” But it still felt odd, like I still felt naked underneath (even though that was the point — “Look ma, no panty lines!”). I actually felt kind of vulnerable as I ventured out on my ride. One thing I noticed right away was that I could feel the short’s seams elsewhere on my backside — the briefs covered those seams. But beyond that, the ride pretty much felt fine. I could still feel all the bumps on the ride as I had before, but the smoothness of the chamois had a soothing effect to it. After a while the awkwardness of riding commando under the shorts went away and I could just simply enjoy the ride.

Ride No. 2: new cycling shorts, briefs underneath

Well, I thought this was going to feel like any of the other hundreds of bike rides I’ve done over the last decade, and for the most part I was right, but for many of the wrong reasons. The first thing I noticed was, I couldn’t feel the seams from the bike shorts, so I figured that’s a positive check mark. As I started riding, however, I noticed I had to shift around on my bike seat and tug around on the briefs through the bike shorts until everything was well-situated. Didn’t have to do any of that on ride one.

I also could feel that I had more padding this time, either as a result of the newer bike shorts with padding that hadn’t worn down over the years, or because of the extra layer of cloth that is the briefs. (I did notice that the chamois on my old bike shorts seemed perfectly fine, and as thick and springy as on the new pair.)

As the ride went on, I could sense the roughness of the fabric on the briefs as opposed to the smoothness of the chamois. I didn’t think the fabric would bother me since I was used to having it on all those other rides, but I continued to notice the difference, which was bothersome enough. And I still had to shift around every so often so that everything stayed properly situated.

Then something happened that I wasn’t expecting. My toes were getting numb! I wasn’t worried about them, as I was used to this happening to an extent, but they didn’t go numb at all on the previous test ride. I don’t think my shoes were any tighter this time than last, either.

The only thing I could surmise is that the hems and stitching on the briefs could be cutting off circulation to my legs. Seems plausible, anyway. And overall, the ride wasn’t as comfortable as Ride 1 was. Not that I couldn’t handle the discomfort, but I was now realizing that the discomfort was noticeably absent in that first ride.

This was troubling. Here I thought I’d be completely fine whether I wore underwear or not beneath the cycling shorts, but I clearly was more comfortable wearing just the shorts on their own.

Ride No. 3: new cycling shorts, nothing underneath

This ride really was a foregone conclusion. Smooth chamois, not having to adjust things every so often, full feeling in my toes the entire ride. It was great.

I now want to use those fully operational toes to kick myself. Partly because almost a decade has gone by before I realized how much more comfortable I could have been, but also because I wish I hadn’t tried this experiment at all, so I could keep on pedaling in constant-wedgie-removing, toe-numbing, ignorant bliss.

Am I a convert? Grudgingly so. I’m annoyed that I’m now spoiled by the comfort of riding without undies but also relieved that this is how you’re supposed to do it. I’m annoyed that I’m not as tough as I thought I was. And I’m annoyed that I’ve got to wash my bike shorts way more often than I had been.

I’ve gone bareback and I can’t go back.

Well, maybe I will. Maybe on the shorter bike rides I’ll still wear something underneath so that I don’t get completely spoiled, to the point that even on a leisurely ride around town with my wife, I won’t be tempted to go commando. I figure any toughening-up you can do down there will make it even nicer when you do wear bike shorts only.

I’d already talked about doing this blog entry to a few people, and the response I got was TMI. If that was the case for you, then I apologize. But if this has helped you rethink what you wear for cycling and how you wear it, well, sorry about that too.

Any other cyclists want to share their stories or tips on proper clothing techniques and what works or doesn’t work for them? C’mon, don’t leave me hangin’ out here all on my own! (pardon the pun) -DAVE

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